the curious case of brooke schroeder

location: san diego

watching: tootsie (not a proud moment for me)

last ate: doughnut (its just a rough day all around)

i want to: kill my dad's bird. her name is spuggy and all she does is say my name over and over.

last movie I saw in the theaters: curious case of benjamin button. great movie, very long, but it made me feel like sitting down and thinking about my life and honestly I had no desire to think about my life right now.

last person I talked to: in person? Jake. on the phone? kristina.

I AM SITTING HOME ALONE, WATCHING TOOTSIE, EATING DOUGHNUTS, AND CREATING MY OWN BLOG QUESTIONNAIRES. WHY DID I COME HOME AGAIN!?!?





the weather is excellent, though.

My favorite part of New Years

THE TOP TEN ALBUMS OF 2008!!!!!

My own list, other people's lists, any list I can find, I LOVE IT. I love listening to music for hours and hours and agonizing over each album. Bumping an artist off the top ten is heartbreaking and invigorating in a way I can't even explain.

Still in the works.
To be posted when 2009 is officially here.


SNEAK PEEK OF PEOPLE WHO WILL DEFINITELY BE ON THE LIST
-the dodos
-mgmt
-sigur ros

January

January is coming, which is awesome and terrifying all at once, like a beautiful stranger knowing your name and you don't remember him at all. (You can't ask how they know you, you just have to play it off and call them "buddy" or "chief" and hope they inadvertently remind you of your history).**

A change reallllly needs to happen. I've been in a big fat rut the past month or so and I'm ready to get out. Stretch my legs. Meet new people. Feel cute and smart again.

Here are my steps to that plan.

1)Running. I used to run three miles a day, six days a week. I freakin' miss what a release it was. It got me out of my head when I was making myself crazy. And it gave me a sweet bod. I don't think I'll run quite as far as I used to, but hopefully I can get back into the frequency.

2)Reading. I love reading. The past two months have been almost completely without the beloved past time. I just finished Crime and Punishment (for the second time. geeze it got hard to pick it up near the end, there). Next on my list is some kafka and ellison. Hopefully Utah will provide me with enough opportunities to speed right through those bad boys.

3)Not being sick. I don't know what it is, but I've been sick three months out of the seven that I've lived here. Even as I type this I'm feeling dizzy and nauseated and there is no good reason why.

4)Be good. Back to the basics. You know, being meek. Taking out my plugs. Deleting some of my sludge metal. Small things will help.

5)Be FREAKISHLY ACTIVE IN THE WARD. I wanted to do that here in Sacramento, but my job + watching the girls + not having a car = me being borderline inactive. gross.

6)Read all my old journals from last time I was in Utah. Remember the craziness. Embrace its memory, but make sure it doesn't happen again.

7)Date ALOT. Don't get stuck on one guy just because he seems ideal. I'll bet thirty bucks that he isn't. I used to be the master of having many men at once. What happened, Brooke? Where did the magic go? It wasn't a bad thing, dating alot. Why did people make me feel like it was? It was waaaay better than this whole dating-one-person-then-feeling-physically-ill-when-it-doesn't-work-out. Ohhhhh maybe thats why I feel dizzy and gross right now. That makes sense.

8)Make lots of lists. I enjoy them. They work for me.

Ok that is enough. Some things I need to do once I get there include: Find a job. Buy groceries. Buy cooking utensils. Buy laundry detergent. You know what? I can steal half that crap from Kristina. Nevermind.

**that reminded me of when I was dating this guy up in Provo and I could not for the life of me remember his name, but I somehow knew his last name was Brady. I called the kid Mr. Brady for like two months. True story.

The Photoshoot

After discovering I still didn't like my blonde hair, a friend of mine decided we should have a photoshoot. It started kinda normal and ended really bizarre.


But in the end, it helped. The blonde is starting to grow on me.

No, I'm not naked. Yes, its strange. But I think its awesome. Mariah makes me want to be in America's Next Top Model. Thanks girl.

i can do it i can do it i can do it i can do it

Facebook stalking a boy in Provo who I am interested in. Cute. Cute. Funny. Cute. Wait, I know those girls.

Those girls lived above me in the dorms. Those girls found me crazy and shaking and worse and those girls know things about me. I don't remember talking to them but I remember being in their rooms. They will remember me. They will. They will talk and talk and talk

and all the good boys will hear and hear and hear and I will cry and cry and no one will look at me without knowing in that whole town no one.

I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it

Is this who you wanna be like, Huh? Like him?

Article from the Jewish Journal

"You know I don’t like linking to Jonah Goldberg, but this column from last week is just too poignant to pass up:

Did you catch the political ad in which two Jews ring the doorbell of a nice, working-class family? They barge in and rifle through the wife’s purse and then the man’s wallet for any cash. Cackling, they smash the daughter’s piggy bank and pinch every penny. “We need it for the Wall Street bailout!“ they exclaim.

No? Maybe you saw the one with the two swarthy Muslims who knock on the door of a nice Jewish family and then blow themselves up?

No? Well, then surely you saw the TV ad in which two smarmy Mormon missionaries knock on the door of an attractive lesbian couple. “Hi, we’re from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!“ says the blond one with a toothy smile. “We’re here to take away your rights.“ The Mormon zealots yank the couple’s wedding rings from their fingers and then tear up their marriage license.

As the thugs leave, one says to the other, “That was too easy.“ His smirking comrade replies, “Yeah, what should we ban next?“ The voice-over implores viewers: “Say no to a church taking over your government.“

Obviously, the first two ads are fictional because no one would dare run such anti-Semitic or anti-Muslim attacks.

The third ad, however, was real. It was broadcast throughout California on election day as part of the effort to rally opposition to Proposition 8, the initiative that successfully repealed the right to same-sex marriage in the state.

What was the reaction to the ad? Widespread condemnation? Scorn? Rebuke? Tepid criticism?

Nope.

This newspaper, a principled opponent of Proposition 8, ran an editorial saying that the “hard-hitting ad” was too little, too late.

The upshot seemed to be that if the pro-gay-marriage forces had just flooded the airwaves with more religious slander, things would have turned out better.

At a pro-gay-marriage rally in Los Angeles after the vote, chants of “Mormon scum!“ were reported. Envelopes containing white powder have been sent to Mormon temples in California and Utah; vandals hit other temples. Lists of businesses to boycott—essentially Mormon blacklists—have sprung up on the Internet. The artistic director of the California Musical Theatre resigned because of pressure after it was revealed he gave $1,000 to a pro-Proposition 8 group.

It’s amazing. Hollywood liberals, who shout “McCarthyism!“ as a first resort, see nothing wrong with this. If Jews were attacked in this way for giving too much money to a political cause, Barbra Streisand would already have a French passport.

Never mind that Proposition 8 carried nearly every demographic slice of voters. Put aside the fact that the Catholic Church and scores of other Christian churches supported it too. Discount the inconvenient truth that bans on gay marriage have now passed in 30 states. It’s all the Mormons’ fault.

Certainly there is a concern that a witch hunt is brewing. Remember what happened with the manager of El Coyote. It seems like more blacklist than boycott. And the Mormons are taking on the brunt of it.

Why? Not sure. Probably because many Americans, especially those living in large urban cities, like Los Angeles, find Mormons a bit strange. (See: “South Park,“ two clips of which is after the jump.) I think we call such displacement of blame scapegoating, which I don’t need to tell the dangers of to folks reading a blog on jewishjournal.com.

But writing in the JPost, a spokesman for the Orthodox Jewish organization Agudath Israel of America, claims the assault on Mormons threatens all Americans who want to live by their holy scriptures:

The scenario of religious people - and institutions like churches, synagogues and mosques - being branded as bigoted simply for affirming deeply-held religious convictions is around the corner. And eventual prosecution of the same for voicing those convictions is only another corner or two away.

What began as a plea for “rights” is rapidly, and noisily, morphing into an assault on freedom of speech and conscience.

Thoughts?

Feline Bloodbath

On the leftside of my sister's house is a path the runs through a couple of blocks in Lincoln Crossing. Across the path and a few doors down is a house that is haunted by at least 5 cats, all of which are irresistable to my 2 nieces.

Today the children and I are running amuck in some incredibly long grass. It is the kind of grass that is brilliantly green and lays down on itself, looking like a prime nap location, except for the fact that anyone caught there would be SLAUGHTERED BY VILLAINOUS CATS.

Let me explain.

Fluffy white cat is near my feet. Ryah plays with her by hopping up and down very close to her face and then screaming at her. Fluffy stays pretty calm through all of it and ignores her. Taylen is holding Michael, a generic looking calico. (These are not the actual names of the cats. This is just what I think they would like to be called)

A certain dog appears on the path. Lets call him, Saul. Saul is in the wrong part of town.

I tell Taylen to put Michael down. I have personal experience when it comes to holding cats and getting near dogs. Ask anyone who has ever been offered some Schroeder home videos. Me screaming and crying is the top of the list.

Michael stands in front of Taylen, totally still. Fluffy melts into the bushes next to us with the most terrifying stealth I have ever beheld. Suddenly I realize there is a third cat, who I previously named Clinker, across the path, equally terrifying in his phantom movements.

Then, to my complete mystification and horror, I see a fourth cat in the tree DIRECTLY ABOVE MY HEAD. All four cats have created a perfect square within three seconds, and are staring at Saul with such intensity I swear the temperature goes up 5 degrees.


I'm pretty sure someone is about to bust out a knife or an old board with nails going through the end of it (Although, Clinker does look like more of a brassknuckles kind of guy...)so I grab the girls and bail.

As I'm running, I hear a few barks, an explosion, then silence.

I ran down the beach naked

I can't believe I haven't blogged about this yet.


Welp....the title pretty much says it all.
There you go.



-Brooke


p.s. OH YEAH and I got paid 90 bucks to do it. And it was still pretty early and there were lots of peole around. And two of my three sisters peed their pants. And I danced around.

I'd do it again.

Something that makes me laugh out loud.

There is a blog called gofugyourself.com that is all about mocking what celebrities wear that makes me laugh. Alot.

The other day they posted a picture of Britney Spears and then what Britney Spears would say.

"Look, y'all! I totally didn't die! Don't lie: I KNOW you know you know I know you thought I was gonna buy the farm that time I shaved my head and hit that SUV with the umbrella, but truth is, I was just acting out, y'all. I feel like I sang "Lucky" over and over and over and over and over again and NO ONE HEARD the part where I was talking about how I cried cried cried in my lonely heart and if there was nothing in my yadda yadda why did the tears etc? That was the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THAT SONG, PEOPLE. AND NO ONE LISTENED. Ergo my incarceration and stuff. ANYHOODLE, I'm out now and let's get right to the point: I look GOOD again. My dad doesn't let me eat anything white and, sure, there are days when I think about those Melendez brothers or whatever their names are and I totally understand why they killed their parents but in the long rung, I am pretty sure he's right that I'm happier with six-pack abs. And now I'm back on magazines again and they're not all like, "BRITNEY: WHAT WENT WRONG" or "BRITNEY: CAN YOU LISTEN TO HER MEGAMIX WHILE DOING CARDIO WITHOUT FEELING REAL BAD ABOUT IT?" or whatever and boy am I relieved about that because everyone acting like I was going to kick it was totally embarrassing. Now I get to be all strong and have comebacks and be the underdog and stuff and everyone knows that's a way better story than someone who never had any problems in their life ever, JUSTIN. So anyway, I think I look awesome on this cover and my weave is fantastic for once unlike some people who have really bad highlights but think they're better than me just because they never hit anyone with their car, to which I say, WAIT TEN MINUTES JAMIE LYNN BECAUSE YOU ARE SOOOO GOING TO WANT TO HIT WHATHISNAME YOUR BABY DADDY WITH YOUR CAR. You just are."

hahahahahaha
its like she is standing RIGHT HERE.
oh man.

Couchsurfing Closure

As of last night, I no longer have a couchsurfing account. Couchsurfing is when you meet people who wander the city, and they use the website to find places to stay. You have to go through a verification and approval process, to make sure no creepy molesters are hosting people.

I only used the services of a fellow couchsurfer once, but it was a pleasant experience. Free bed, free tour around the city, new friends. It was a good time.

Now, remember that guy who was stalking my blog and was the reason I went private? He is the reason I canceled it. Yeah. The guy is awesome. I really hope he follows me around the world wide web ruining things for me for the rest of my life.

If you're out there looking at my blog, YOU STINK. PLEASE GET A LIFE AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO HARASS.

thanks.

Its a small mormon world, afterall

Last night I had a dream, but it wasn't a fantastic eating-spiders-and-flying sort of dream, it was just a flashback to a real event but it was insanely vivid and clear.

It was my last night in Provo. It was chilly. I was with my friend Paul, who I had classes with and had hung out with before but never just the two of us like it was then. He was one of the few people who knew I was leaving.

Anyway, so I woke up this morning thinking about him, and go look at his facebook. I left him a comment about it, even though he is on his mission and can't check it.

I'm doing routine facebook stalking (pictures, history, mutual friends, info, etc) and here is what I find under info:

Well everyone...i am off. I will be serving a mission for the LDS church in Roseville California for the next two years. If you want to write me here is my address:

I can't believe it! I've been living fifteen minutes away from the guy for seven months! I drive past his house when I go to singles ward! It is delightful and I love it.

I'm writing him a letter.

Guest Appearance

As I am the queen of finding myself in random adventures, I recently helped some boys I don't know with their puppet music video about george washington being stalked by a homicidal hippo. Upon further investigation, I discovered they are kind of a big deal and that I am now on their videoblog.

http://www.dreamofthehippo.com/


Check out video blog #6 titled "we burned our fingers". It features myself and four other children. I speak very little, as it is not my blog. We were filming just us for a solid thirty minutes, after we had spent an hour or more making cardboard puppets dance.

I'm dead center. My friend Julia has a beard on for the majority of it.
Awesome.

Law and Order SVU Sucks this season

The view from my parents house is awesome.


As for the blonde....
Before

After