Cute Up

I should probably revamp my blog. Add a music widget that impresses you with the latest cover/remix from a band too cool for you to know. Throw some pictures of myself in a polaroid/wrapped in fur/blowing bubbles.

Meh. Maybe.

Something I definitely AM going to do is see The Dodos tomorrow night in Salt Lake. I HAVE LOVED THIS BAND FOR YEARS and I am crossing something off my life "to-do" list by seeing them.

Happy.

Anti Social

I think for being a group of story tellers and entertainers, my family is surprisingly anti-social.

I know, for me personally, I hate performing. I've never liked it. Getting dragged on stage to sing has been my least favorite thing.

I also dislike people in general. I complain alot about living in Lehi and just hanging out with two little kids but really I'm glad that's how it is. People are retarded and hurtful.

I've only met a handful of people that are really friends. Friends that I keep in touch with. That make sure I'm ok.

I've met MANY more who I feel like I get close with them, share my life with them, and then they suddenly drop out of my life and I feel empty, like they took something from me.

Facebook is just this huge self-promoting campaign. Blogs are diaries tailored for consumption. Cell phones promote neediness and the internet is the fattest time suck ever invented.

In case you couldn't tell, I am in a great mood today! I WILL FIGHT YOU!

Here are some things you can do to avoid me punching you in the throat:

1)asking for American cheese at Sammy's.

2)talking to me about my personal issues that you heard about from someone else. I'm sorry, I don't remember talking to you about my emotional break up, do you really think that just because you read my blog you are entitled to ask me incredibly personal questions when I bump into you somewhere? No. If I didn't give you details on here, you probably won't get them in person.

3)assuming that just because I'm a nanny I want to hang out with your kids. On vacations, visiting relatives, at church functions, or any other situation where you need someone to watch your kids, pick SOMEONE ELSE. Yeah if I go out and hold your baby then that means I want to play with her (aka Nikki's adorable child! So glad I finally met her!) but don't automatically think that because I am in the child-care industry that I am always up for some diaper changing. Because I'll charge you.

4)pet owners who don't know how to own pets. don't be a jerk and buy a puppy if you don't have puppy experience. people like you raise uncontrollable dogs then put them in the pound. I'm not an animal activist at all, but I HATE hipsters getting dogs for a year then saying they are "out of control" and giving up.

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I REALLY NEED TO DO SOME CARDIO OR SOMETHING BECAUSE BLOGGING JUST ISN'T ISN'T DOING IT FOR ME.

Sisters

Today I thanked Heavenly Father for something I know no one has really thought of before. I thanked him that my sisters Calee and Kristina are not married.

I think the only thing keeping me from crying all the time, feeling worthless, asking "what is wrong with me?" and sinking into a "I'll-never-be-in-love-again" funk is the example of those two.

There is life after a break up! Not only is there life but there is grad school, developing my talents, getting in awesome shape, travel, new boys, and, eventually, new love.

Now in the midst of my taking-my-situation-too-serious-ness, something silly and downright joyful happened.

I recognized a girl on the running path from previous jogs around Lehi, only this time I was walking. We've never spoken, but as I saw her approaching I shouted in shame "I'm walking! I am a failure!" She immediately replied "No you're not! Move it!" I started running again, and as we passed, we high fived.

I'm not sure if she realized how happy she made me, but hopefully my prayers that this awesome local teenager is blessed will be answered.

Pathetic

self loathing self loathing body insecurities zero social life seriously debating leaving the country



you know. basic break up stuff.

Learning

My long, amazing, terrible relationship with Mancandy is officially over, and I think my time being single and away from it all has made me realize this:

The Love isn't what makes it work, it's The Like.

which sucks, cuz the love is way more hip.

Great day

In case you didn't know, let me tell you about my situation:

I'm 21, living in Lehi, UT with the family that I nanny two boys for (ages 6 and 4).

Today they let me sleep in til 9!

Meaning they were awake, but when they came downstairs and saw me asleep on the couch (which is where I sleep while I wait for them to wake up) they decision to GO BACK TO THEIR ROOMS AND PLAYED QUIETLY. They didn't flood the bathroom or kill each other or anything!!!

I woke up, found them being angels, and almost cried with gratitude.

The rest of the day went as follows:

Highland Splash Park from 10-12

Ivory Ridge pool 12-2

Naps 2:30-3:30

Homework/Chores 4-5

Making Cookies and reading stories 5-6

So now I have some semblance of a tan, I'm almost done with my book (because neither of those places were drowning risks) and my stomach is all happy with chocolate chippyness.

Days like today make me LOVE MY JOB.

(p.s. there was still fighting, still alot of cleaning, and still me wishing I lived in Provo so I could do something after work besides blog...but, oh well)

4th

Hola

I was just in San Diego for the weekend. Possibly more on that later.

For now, happy 4th.



p.s. chris i facebook stalk you, in case it isn't obvious already.