CarAmEl

OHAAAAAAAI


So I entered a goodie giveaway on my sister Nikki's blog and knew I had very little chance of winning. A crapload of mommy bloggers go to that site every day and I knew tons of people would be entering.

My mom, being the sweet lady that she is, knew the same thing and pitied me. She knows its been a rough few weeks and didn't want to see me cry when I didn't win, so she bought me a caramel apple and shipped it here! Sweet woman!

Turns out though, I TOTALLY WON.

That's right people.
I am RICH with caramel apples. I'm going to get the craziest sugar high of all time and climb a mountain.

You know what this is?
Karma.

Wanna know why?
A drunk guy pushed a friend of mine last night, and then I punched him in the face. And pushed him outside and told him "NEVER COME BACK" with a mean face and pointed finger. THEN EVERYONE APPLAUDED. TRUE STORY. THAT CRAP TOTALLY HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE AND IT HAPPENED TO ME! YOU CAN WIN GIVEAWAYS! YOU CAN BEAT UP MEAN GUYS! DREAMS COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy

I can tell I'm happy when:

- I'm reading alot
- I'm dancing whenever I hear a tune
- I'm cooking
- My room is spotless
- baby animals make me go "aaawwwwhhhh!"
- I don't hate John Malkovich as much as normal
- I'm putting on weight and LOVIN' IT
- I've been giving away things (cookies, clothes, rides, etc)
- Utah really doesn't seem that bad.

p.s. lust

McSweeney's garage Sale

If you love me, go here


$5 dollar goodness. Just sayin'

Oh dear

this is his official album cover

Forgiveness

I finally had the opportunity to say some things to a person who really hurt me. I kinda let loose on him, actually.

Then, of course, I got an incredibly heartfelt apology in return. It doesn't make what happened better, but it really makes me hopeful for a happy, pain-free future.



Today was a good day.

Click to enlarge, and you will laugh

it's been a rough year, and it's nice to find something that actually makes me laugh out loud.

p.s. if you're not a CSI fan you probably won't laugh as much as I did.

I don't know about you guys

But I could use some caramel apples.

If you could too, check here


Read your scriptures

Robi Sundell

Dear Robi

Last time I saw you was outside of Sammy's. It was late, around 1:30 am, and you were suddenly there, unexpectedly. We'd been making plans but I kept having to cancel because of random stuff, so I was excited to see you.

I jumped on you and buried my face in your afro. You spun me around so fast I started falling off, and you went faster just to make me cling on more.

You said I had no idea how happy I made you. I said hello to your friends in the truck. I jumped on you again, for a second spin.

I scolded you for not fixing the tables in front of the store for the billionth time. You invited me somewhere, I can't remember where, but I had to sleep and I said next time for sure.

I texted you last night, I guess your Dad had your phone and asked if anyone knew me and could tell me what had happened.

Sam called about the accident and told me it was serious.
A mutual friend recognized my name from the text at the hospital and called me to tell me about the funeral.

I miss you. I love you.

Hysterical Travel

No sleep no food lots of sleep lots of food drive to SD fly to UT cry dance run laugh dance cry cry sleep.

Any questions?

McSweeney's

Dear McSweeney's Magazine,

I lust after you. The short stories in the latest issue are making my mouth water, and the second I can afford it I'm buying a subscription.

Your fur-covered edition of Dave Eggers' Where the Wild Things Are is EXACTLY WHAT I NEED IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW and the second I get paid I am buying it.

I can't believe issue 24 is $5. I can't believe issues 19&20 are selling for $8 together.

I NEED YOU.
I NEED TO READ MORE, AND BE INSPIRED TO WRITE MORE. YOU ARE THE KEY. I LOVE YOU, MCSWEENEY'S. I REALLY REALLY DO.


author's note:
McSweeney's magazine is everything the New Yorker should be. The editor, Dave Eggers, wrote one of my top 5 favorite book A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, happened to write the screenplay for Where the Wild Things Are, which I am seeing tonight.

Huzzah.


p.s. I left links for all of those awesome bargains just in case you wish you purchase them for me and watch me do a happy dance.

Crazies

Provo has some crazy people. I don't mean like wearing-socks-with-sandals crazy or rolling-through-a-stop-sign crazy, I mean legitimately insane individuals who need to be carted away to wasatch county health.

I was walking through a parking lot when a large man approached, yelling. He didn't seem to be homeless, but he was on the dirty side, and a tad bit frantic, like he was on the cusp of homelessness and just needed a drug habit to put him over the edge.

He was yelling incoherently, and when he spotted me he threw a finger out at me with his head reared back. Despite his babbling and quick pace, the pointed finger was firm and fierce and if I didn't think it would have caused my death I probably would've stopped and stared.

"DO YOU KNOW WHICH OF THESE CARS RUN ON HYDROGREN?"

His voice was damning me already, like I didn't need to answer because I was wearing a "I hate the environment" sticker on my forehead.

"uhh..." I was nearing my destination figured he wouldn't attack me if people could see us, so I sped up a bit.

He narrowed the gap between us to 5 feet, and leaned in with a gravelly whisper

"alllllll oooffff theeeemmmm"

He said it just like that. Slow, drawn out, ominous.


Then I was confused. I thought the hydrogen fuel cell was the ideal fuel? Yes, the factories that create those fuel cells run on coal, but can't you do the same thing with water-powered facilities? Does anyone know what this crazy guy was talking about? Because now I'm doubting myself.

I can't believe I let that guy make me feel guilty for a second. I carpool. I buy fancy ethos water from Starbucks to "help the children." Isn't that enough for you, strange man in the parking lot?

Typical

I spent most of my childhood trying to stand out.

I had 3 gorgeous older sisters, all brainy, all cheerleaders, all confident.

I, unfortunately, was overweight and refused to read until 2nd grade or so. When I finally caught up academically I was too scared to be social, so I hated everyone and everything that intimidated me. I wore bright red dickies to school and listened to awful music, just because none of my sisters did that.

I was too scared to try out for cheerleading or swim because I had such problems with my weight and how I looked.

I never went inside an Abercrombie or Aeropostale because that's where my sisters when and oh my gosh aren't they just soooo typical?



Well, last night I realized: I went to FHE and had a blast. Went longboarding to Blockbuster and had a blast. I'm blonde and work at a trendy burger place and I'm having a blast. I live in Provo, I love BYU, I'm wearing high heels and an outfit Kristina would love, and I'm having a blast.


Look at me, I'm typical.

KAYLA

Have you guys ever met someone and known instantly that you are going to be dear friends for a long time?

Let me introduce you to Kayla

(INSERT SAMMY'S PIC HERE)


I just realized I have no pictures of her....weird....


ANYWAY. Dear Kayla and I met working at Sammy's in Provo. After a few impromptu dance parties and realizing we made twice as many tips when we were scheduled together, it became clear that we should move in together.

And move in together we did.


I've shown her how to be a music snob and share toilet paper.

She's shown me that you can still be mature and dance and shout and freak out, and mexican food is a cure-all.


I know it's only been a few months, but we get confused for each other every day, she is already my best friend, loved by all of my sisters, and greatly feared by my enemies.


Cheers, girl!
I love you

Sleeping Pills

Today I realized...I haven't had a sleeping pill in about a month.




:)



This feels awesome.

Making Friends

I really need to learn how to make friends. Too often I find myself standing awkwardly and making tasteless jokes about dead parents.

I can't help it.
When I get nervous, racey humor just takes over me.


:: sigh ::

At least I have my job, which today and yesterday was just hours and hours of hanging out with firemen.

That's not such a bad thing.

Sponsors Wanted

Hey friends.


If you read my blog, you know my story.
You know I'm kinda crazy but smart. Fun but logical. Just got out of a relationship but moving on.

I really would love to be a volunteer in an orphanage in Ecuador. I found a program that isn't officially tied to the church, but is mostly filled with LDS students.

If you or someone you know is interested in sponsoring a 21 yr old in her quest to help others, please let me know! I'm too poor to do it on my own.

get more info here

October

Helloooo October. I'm excited for you.

Know why?

Because September was rough. Really rough. Definitely top 3 hardest times of my entire life rough.

I went through the messiest kind of break up there is. I was heartbroken. I was looking into the future and still planning things with him. I was rationalizing and crying and aching.

Now? Not so much.

I'm pissed.
Every time I think about the last month of our relationship I'm just incredibly pissed off.

As for you, October....I love you. You are my new boyfriend. Feel free to cover me with leafy kisses and make me blush with your chill. I'm ready for a rebound ;)

update:
I emailed my creative writing teacher, just a simple hello, plus "I'll be there Thursday and I'll arm wrestle you in front of the basketball team and you'll go cry in the parking lot"

To which he replied "Sounds like creative writing! Except not that creative, since everyone knows I cry in the parking lot most days"

We have an solid friendship based on sass. I enjoy it.

:)

I didn't do anything to deserve this awesome Saturday.

-Conference
-Wags&Rae in town
-bonding with Kayla
-dance party @ Sammy's
-free dinner
-weird/awesome movie
-wonderful wonderful wonderful.



:) :)

Last of all

Remember the stinky dog, Sunny Bear?

Today I was petting his impressive paunch and glanced at his nametag.


"Suni Bear"




Have a great day.