I wouldn't like me if I met me

I really think any boy that dates me, and especially any boy that is in a serious relationship with me, deserves a parade. A tiara at least.

To me, it is banal and commonplace to paint your entire face with eyeliner at 2 am, then play with a rolie polie for two hours, then ride your bike around the deserted Provo streets.

To a boyfriend, it is cute and quirky that you have so much energy at this hour....uhh..yeah its kinda cute that you named that bug and hung out with it for so long...it is now officially terrifying that you left your phone at home and I don't know where you are and its late and WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE I AM THE CRAZY ONE FOR BEING MAD?

I forget that people who like you enjoy knowing where you are and if you are alive still, and if they go to your house in the middle of the night and you aren't in bed and you aren't answering your phone they are going to freak out.

I know this now.
I'll probably forget again.

Strange Day

Today I had a procedure done, the name of which I can't pronounce let alone spell. Basically, I had an abnormal Pap, and since there is such a strong history of cancer in the family, they decided to biopsy.

I thought it would be just like the Pap: awkward, uncomfortable. Turns out it was much more painful, with alot of bleeding after.

My poor boyfriend has been frantic all day, trying to figure out what would make me feel better. But what can you do when someone throws acid inside of you, then scrapes, then throws more acid? Because that is basically what happened.

Sorry for being so graphic. My insides hurt.

SOOOOOO ANGRY

Wow. Seriously. I am flabbergasted.

In case you guys didn't notice, sometimes I get sassy; however, I'd like to think that for the most part that sass is totally justified.

In this case, I know it was. I disagreed with someone- I wouldn't even call it sass. I went outside to cool down. He followed me out and apologized, and agreed with me. The rest of the evening went well.

The next day I get a text about my my "talking back," Then there was an accidental text sent, which seemed to be meant for another person asking if I had given them problems before.

Seriously?

You apologize, agree with me, then turn around and say that I was talking back, and that my attitude is a problem? So now I have the rep of the girl who "talks back" and at least 3 different people have been informed of the incident? The incident which I handled completely appropriately, and in fact thought was resolved?

Am I going crazy?

Hint: Don't apologize and accept responsibility, then change your mind. And if you do, let the person involved know about it first, so they can prepare for how extremely pissed off they are going to be when you get other people involved.

K THAAAAAAANKS

I'm keeping him

You know that kid Andrew?
Well last night he experiences full-fledged insane Brooke.

Literally the most insane I've ever been around another human being, which is saying alot, because some of you have seen me pretty bad.

And he is still around.

I really want to dye my hair red

who can support me with this decision.

Chris Nielsen

Lives in Provo now. Helped fix my bike and get a job. Yaaaay chris!

Give me a break

Don't forget that I'm entitled to bad days. I know its easy to think "oh, she has a mood disorder. If she is excited she must be manic! If she is sad she must be depressed!"

Don't make me paranoid to have feelings, and just because I'm imbalanced does NOT mean that they aren't valid.

Thanks.

Life Lately

on edge

not having anyone around is really starting to freak me out.

THANKS

Thanks Kristina, for leaving food here for me to get fed.

Thanks Jan, for showing me how the Tivo works.

Thanks Chris, for driving me to my job interview.

Thanks Guy At The Book Store, for giving me free books.

Thanks Sammy's, for hiring me.

Thanks Computer, for working.

Thanks Julia, for sending me random texts full of love.

Thanks Andrew, for calling me from Mexico.

Thanks Mom and Dad, for getting pregnant all those many moons ago. I like being alive.

Introducing Andrew

Here he is, the mancandy himself.

I miss him.

Sacramento Once Again

I am back in Provo!
It was strangely difficult being in Sacramento. First of all, I was there to meet my boyfriend's parents. Stressful. Second of all, I was getting ridiculous flashbacks from the FIRST time I drove to Lincoln: I was fleeing a nowhere-relationship, a bad crowd, and alot of demons. San Diego was not my friend, and Lincoln wasn't exactly the easiest place to be. I tried to be helpful with the girls for my sweet sister Nikki; but honestly, if I could go back and change some things, I would.

Oh yeah and I hung out with my ex. Not sure why I thought that was a good idea.

ANNNYYWAAAYYYSSSS.
Here are some pictures from the drive up. The car had: Andrew (the mancandy) Kelsey(mancandy's sister) Jaelyn and Kiersten(sister's friends)and myself.

Seeing Tay and Rybear was aloooot of fun.
Ryah has recently come into a large amount of SASS:

Tay has a boyfriend

Ladies on the roadtrip (yes, this is in a gas station bathroom.)

Me and the Mancandy


Now I am back in Utah, but Kristina (my roommate for the summer) is leaving for Washington, then ENGLAND. Andrew is in Mexico for the next week. I don't have a job or any friends. This apartment suddenly seems huge and empty. Aweeesssomme. Rave, anyone?

Provo Once Moorrreeee

Tomorrow morning I get to wake up bright and early for a ten hour drive back to Provo with my sister Nikki's boyfriend. He is a nice guy and everything, but ten hours? Let's hope he won't mind if I control the music the entire way back.

Actually.
He can control some music.

It is the least I can do for not taking my turn driving.

I still don't have a license.

Granite Bay

Hey lovers. I'm in Granite Bay, CA right now, in my boyfriend's parent's kitchen. Guess what?

It is freaking massive.
I love big kitchens.
I want to live on the counterspace. And I totally could.

The rest of the house is huge, too. The range rover and bmw are pretty sweet as well.
So is the huge pool.

I should be WAAAAY more spoiled for dating this kid, I'm realizing.

I am sad to say goodbye- He is going to Mexico tomorrow with his family and I won't see him for a WEEK; but, I am glad to be here for a few more days just to hang out with Nikki and tay and ryahbear!!! Huzzaaaah

Nothin but love, Brooke.

p.s. my boyfriends mom doesn't like me. post on that later.

Long Time, No Blog

so GUESS WHAT.
Finals?
Done

Living?
In a townhouse with my sister Kristina

Just got back?
From San Diego, where Andrew met my Dad.

Just leaving for?
Sacramento, where I will meet Andrew's Dad.

Excited to?
See the girls, Julia, Jake, Nikki, everyone in Sacramento that I love.

Pictures from the San Diego trip? OF COURSE