Fatty

Soo....
I used to be a bit thicker.

I believe the all time high weight was 186lbs, at a height of 5'6'' or so. These days I'm usually around 145lbs, at one inch taller. Needless to say, the difference is kind of obvious.

Kristina (my sister, who blogs here with my other sister Calee) made me a picture calendar a couple of years ago for my birthday, which includes a few precious gems that my Mancandy hadn't ever seen.

He was flipping through, looking at old pictures, and I KNEW it was coming: the one picture from the 4th of July, where my hair is long and golden brown, I'm 40 lbs heavier than I am today, and I'm wearing so much make up I could be mistaken for a man.

I didn't stop him. I wanted to SO BAD, but I didn't. I knew it was coming, and I always thought that the worst possible reaction would be laughter.

It turns out the worst possible reaction is TOTAL SILENCE.

He stopped on that exact picture. I could see the cogs in his mind turning and piecing together the fact that the curvy girl in the picture and the woman he is dating are the same person.

Before I go on:
I really don't see myself as that person anymore. I eat what I want when I want, and I don't stress out about it. I used to think I was just a bigger person in a brief period of being thin (because I used to weigh 10 lbs less than I am now, run 3 miles a day, and lived off of yogurt and cereal) but now I've settled into a nice middle ground. I'm not skinny, I'm not fat, I'm comfortable. It's bizarre and obviously not healthy to have experienced both extremes in a matter of just 3 years, but hey. There are very few healthy things about me and my life (in the past 3 years, especially).

Finally, after a few moments, he kissed me and laughed.
It wasn't that bad.
I laughed too.