the future? lets not.

i need to stop with the future-talk. i don't think any of you are aware of it, in fact the majority of you have asked what i'm doing with my life when its been OFFICIAL that i was going back to BYU for about six months now, but I have been obsessing about the future. The future is controlling my present and not in a maybe-i-shouldn't-get-this-guys-name-tattooed-on-my-lower-back sort of way, but more in a if-i-don't-cut-my-hair-for-at-least-five-years-it-will-be-really-cute-for-the-family-pictures-when-my-kid-is-born sort of way. Crazy? Yes- but keep in mind who i live with at the moment. Its impossible to live with these kids and not want some.

lets focus on the present situation:

PROS

my car: I love my dodge dynasty. Who wouldn't? A soft blood red material covers the entire interior, making it the perfect vehicle for a homicidal lover of luxury. (the evidence would blend right in, if you killed a person. if you murdered an alien/sea creature that just wouldn't work out, since it is a scientific fact that anything gross and scary bleeds green and/or purple goo)

my fish: true, i've really been neglecting him lately. We've drifted apart since that whole Milo fiasco, and HOLY CRAP IF ONE MORE PERSON MESSAGES ME ON FACEBOOK I AM GOING TO LIGHT SOMETHING ON FIRE. sorry--blinking message light. i hate it. i'm going to sue and say I had a seizure. Facebook is for stalking ex boyfriends and staring at girls that are prettier than you are, not idle chit chat. Not that I don't like chit chat, I love it. In fact, I take it to the next level: witty banter. I'm an amazing conversationalist and if you say I'm boring because I didn't respond to "chelsies new profile pic is uber skank" I'll resent that, and I'll resent you.

sorry where were we? Does anyone know how to deactivate the instant message capabilities on facebook? lemme know! that'd be greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

CONS

my lack of a bike. thats rough. sure I haven't had a bike in about ten years, but still, I have this vision that once I have a bike all of my problems will be solved. Plus, the Dynasty is getting kinda old and she won't drive at night or in certain neighborhoods. What can you do, eh? Love 'em or leave 'em. and leave 'em isn't really an option....soooo...

man the arcade fire are so effing good.

boys: another con. lets be honest, folks. if you've dated me, you know if I'm not interested I just don't have time to be pursued. If i didn't come up to YOU and say "hey sweet thing lets get outta here and go get in trouble" then there was a reason. Don't hit on me. Don't do it; FLIPSIDE: if I was nice enough to take the time to not snap out irrationally, and I told you I'm not interested in anything beyond friendship and you proceed to buy me presents and whatnot, I will accept said whatnot. you are not allowed to get upset when my feelings don't change. You want to buy dinner? Cool! You're mad i don't want to cuddle? What am I? A paid cuddler? While that job sounds ridiculously laid back and is probably really good for my blood pressure, no thanks. What happened to the guys that weren't looking for relationships? I am SO NOT READY for this phase.

Yet, I must admit that the phase is officially here. Let me just point out some of the happy couples who are standing on the snow-tipped mountain of love, screaming out their devotion and creating an avalanche of commitment to crush all of their single friends to death:

Alana Salisbury and Tanner Moore, married this past year.
Natalie Neal and that guy she likes, to be married in March 2009
Michelle Nielsen and Logan Moore, to be married before the end of 2008
Ashley Homer and whoever her fiancee is. see above.
Danelle Primavera (gonna be honest I have no info on this one) but she is gettin hitched!

wow i should really learn more about my friends and the people they are going to be spending the rest of their lives with. Anyway,

the moore boys are twins i grew up with, the closest thing to brothers I've ever had. Alana and Michelle and Ashley were all in my stake in high school. I have pictures of Danelle and I being awkward beehives together. ITS CRAZY.

The only buffer I have against the fever is the fact that all of my sisters are single, and they're still alive, proving that you DO NOT spontaneously combust and perish if you are single on your 21st birthday! SPREAD THE WORD! ITS A MIRACLE!

the only reason i'm being sassy is because i've had too many close calls with marriage hungry returned missionaries in the past few years. It went from being exciting and flattering to somewhat offensive. I know for all my friends up there it is the right time for them, but as for me I just don't think you're even going to see the tip of the brooke iceburg in six months of dating. you'll see a shadow in the water and think its a whale or something and take the boat closer so the tourists can check it out and BAM you're all dead. Why? If there is one thing you should've known about me before even the first date is that I'm the LOVE-SINKER, baby. man i've been really metaphorical today.

EXCLAIMer: if you've recently gone out with brooke, this post isn't about you so calm down. I SWEAR IT ISN'T. If you are one of brookes engaged/married friends and you are offended in any way by my comments, then we obviously weren't really good friends. I'm sassy. You were going to find out eventually.