I use the word 'erotic' in this post. Now you want to read it.

What is more awkward than a hot dentist? Answer: nothing.

Imagine you are me. As me, you are really good at hitting on men. You fear regret more than rejection. Based on that logic you will ask out guys WAY beyond your league (physically), which they are usually so surprised by they say yes. It works well for you.

Now imagine you recently became single. Are you imagining it? Does your chest hurt? Do you feel nauseated? Good, good. Focus on that.

So you go to the Dentist, because your teeth haven't been looked at by a professional in at least two years and theres a good chance the little suckers have fled to Mexico by now, and there he is. He goes by Lyle, and despite what you'd think for a dental assistant named Lyle, he is hot. He smiles and touches your leg. He makes a joke. Flirting. The glory!

You're wearing your old jeans and a The Who t-shirt. You rode your bike there. Not ideal, but hey you gotta work with what you've been given.

Knowing Lyle is coming back soon, you pull out Palm Sunday by Kurt Vonnegut and put on your intellectual face, which is strangely close to your highly-medicated face, but whatever you've got the face going on.

Walks up. Conversation. He mentions he wants to get back into the classics. You, being a severe book worm -which has only recently been helping you romantically- pull out Crime and Punishment (you always have a second book with you, and it is always a different genre. Occasionally you'll have a book of poetry, too. You carry lots of stuff around, is what I'm getting at)

Here is your chance! Offer to let him borrow it! Write your name in it first, so that he can't steal it (ha ha I jest! I am clever and attractive!), put your phone number in it too so he can call you when he is finished. Maybe he can return it over candles on a beach somewhere, whatever works for him!

and then...back to the reason for the visit...the fitting of the mold...Lyles beautiful fingers hidden by latex... now in your mouth... its really on the fence if this is getting erotic or just ruining the mood...

Ruining the mood. You chicken out. You go home with two books and no prospects.

You are weak.
You buy a chess set and play two games against yourself. You get schooled.

Happy Wednesday.