Lets Think Positive

So I get kind of down of Sacramento sometimes, Lincoln specifically. Do you live here? Can you blame me? I mentioned this out loud at my manager certification class on Saturday, and many people rose to defend their beloved home town.

"What are you talking about? The fair is going on downtown for WEEKS!"

Really? The fair? You mean there will be livestock and food that isn't traditionally fried being fried (snickers, twinkies, danish, what a riot!) Seriously?

As much as I'd love to ride a suspicious ferris wheel being run by a drunk guy named Thumbless Joe and somehow get vomit on my shoes and hay in my hair, I think I'll pass.


Now that all the negativity is out, here are some things I really love about this town.

1)The guys. True, I've had NO romantic luck since I've been here, but just because I'm not interested doesn't mean I don't shamelessly hit on every awkward looking boy in my ward. Reducing a returned missionary to a wordless, breathless, confused ten year old with flaming cheeks is a sure fire way to make the most boring meeting interesting. Its true, I break hearts. Tell your friends. (I know technically I could do this anywhere, but since I'm bored alot and am moving soon, I do it here a bit more than usual)

2) Safeway, or specifically, the fact that every person who works at safeway thinks I am an unwed mother of two. Since I go grocery shopping for Nikki and the girls and don't wear a ring, they assume. At first I let them assume and nothing else, but then I started bringing it up and throwing random details in there. I'm 21, the dad is not in the picture anymore, and my youngest is named Louise. Talk about heart breaking, and fun!

3)My Room. First, its freakin' huge compared to the room at had in the townhouse in San Elijo. Second, the furniture kicks butt (rich wood top, painted off-white base, with vintage dents and scratches). Third, the closet. I've decided I am going to need a walk-in for the rest of my life. Not only because I have alot of clothes/costumes, but because I've always seemed to turned to the closet in a time of need. When I need to cry or hide, its right there. (you'd be surprised how often I hide and cry. Taylen is merciless if I upset her. You should see the bruises)

4)My brain. I've finally felt (for the most part) balanced and normal. I feel like I'm away from people who were dragging me down into the weakest form of myself, and I'm definitely stronger in my testimony. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the true gospel on this earth, but life is so freaking hard. I don't think I would've really found out until I had my own family, but since I've been living here its been obvious. No one gets it easy in this life, even the righteous have trials- its just how you deal with them. The best chance you have is focusing your life on the lord and marrying someone who does the same. My daily ritual of writing in my journal, reading my scriptures, and praying has been the reason I have been sleeping so well and feeling in control of my life. Control is VERY important to me, as it it with most people who have bipolar disorder.

5)My sister Nikki. Its about time I have a friend, a really great friend. Someone who believes what I believe and supports me in everything. I really can't remember the last time I had an ally I can open up to and be totally honest with. She can do the same with me. We support each other, cry with eachother, and (for the most part) correct one another when we've done something silly or hurtful. I don't think I really understand how socially isolated I was until I got here. Sure, I had a boyfriend who was also my best friend, but without being mormon there is only so much about me he could understand. Plus, nikki is getting divorced (haven't you heard?) and I'm one sandwich short of a picnic. We've had dark moments that we can't even desribe to each other, but we both can laugh about it (some days). That helps.

6) Taylen and Ryah (demon and stinky). Although they are growing up SO FAST, they are way fun! Plus, I've changed diapers and cleaned up vomit and played princesses. I am guaranteed "cool favorite aunt" position for the rest of eternity. Sorry Kristina and Calee, you two no longer qualify.

7)My hair. I know that its silly to have that be a favorite thing about a place, but I really think if I had been living somewhere that I was really social I would keep cutting it. Since I've been bummin' it and just working and going to church, I've let it grow. Its almost out of its ugly mullet stage! Huzzah!

8) charlotte russe discount. 'nuff said.

9)hot nights. something about it being 80 degrees at nine o'clock at night makes me all goose-bumpy with magical feelings. It makes me want to fall in love and dance around a fire.

10)the memmoorriessss. yes, I'll remember ALOT about living here. All the books I've read, the jobs I've had, the american idol auditions, the crying, the therapy, the girls, the really getting to know Nikki as an adult, the drama with the divorce, how it feels to be around little kids, realizing that I'm still young, learning to appreciate my lack of financial/personal committments, all of those. alot of learning, alot of memories.

Ok

I'm done. Hey, I ended on ten! I didn't even do that on purpose.