McDonalds Pick Up Artist

Yesterday I took the girls to McDonalds to play around since I was tired and they were hyper. I wore my fake engagement ring, which Nikki thought was used so people didn't think I had kids out of wedlock. Its actually so I don't get hit on.

Turns out, it totally doesn't work.

As the children were running amuck, I notice this burnt out guy staring at me. Raspy voice, cigarette, tattoos, unimpressive facial hair, would argue until the end of time how Guns n Roses was the best band ever and yes, Axl is totally getting his life back together thank you very much (Even though his big comeback flopped. Anyone surprised? Didn't think so). The whole package, is what I'm saying.

I walked past him to stop Ryah from running into a pit of venomous snakes,(I don't know how, but the girl is drawn to dangerous situations. She only eats glass and is sexually attracted to fire) and he stopped me, telling me I looked EXACTLY like that actress, man, you know the one, man. C'mon Mila something?

I knew he was talking about Mila Jovovich, who I actually have no idea who that is but I have been told that before.

Then Raspyvoice turns to his son (mid 20s. looks like he drinks alot of Blue Ribbon), who in turn follows me out to the parking lot as I am toting stinky and demon out to the car.

He then proceeds to ask if I want to "go downtown and get a drink"

"sure," I said, "I'll bring my kids"

"uh, or we could go to the zoo?"

At this point I am at my car, since I never stopped walking, and Taylen turns and shouts:

"yeah, we can go to the zoo and poop on your head!"

We both laugh SO HARD even Ryah joins in, who has begun sporting the most ridiculous laugh you have ever heard. So fun.

Cute girls.


and I just googled Mila Jovovich, and I think that guy was smoking crack.