Insomnia

For those of you who don't know, I have a history of ridiculous and extreme insomnia. Lately I've been sleeping so consistently I didn't even notice I was out of sleeping pills. Now, before you go and start judging me (some people are anti sleep aid and VERY verbal about it, which I understand, but take a second to read this post before you leave a comment about what I can do differently to sleep at night) try to imagine that it's 5 am and you have work in the morning and you haven't slept a WINK, despite staying in bed with the lights off like a good little girl.

Some people have "insomnia" because they drink tons of soda, or watch TV before bed, or sleep in the morning before or take naps. I do NONE of those things. I'm anti-soda, I NEVER nap, I rarely sleep in (mostly because my body is so weird about sleep anyways that it won't let me sleep in past 9) and I have a very calming nightly routine of facewash, body lotion, scripture reading, then recreational reading. Doctors have been telling me for 3 years now that sleep hygiene is a HUGE part of curing insomnia- but that really just isn't the case with me. (sleep hygiene=nightly rituals)

Usually I give up and get out of bed after 2 or 3 hours of trying, but I was SO dedicated I stayed in bed for 6 hours! 6 hours of not sleeping! 6 hours of replaying movies/songs/daily events in my head! I SHOULD WIN A FREAKING MEDAL.

Finally it started getting light outside, so I went to the sleeping pill bottle. Usually taking one Ambien guarantees me around 3 hours of sleep, and by then I was so frustrated I was willing to risk the possible sleeping pill hangover; however, the bottle was empty!

The frustration I felt cannot be put into words. I actually threw the bottle! I probably looked like a 3 year old throwing a tantrum, but since that is what I felt like I'm ok with the visual.

I'm hoping that the real reason I couldn't sleep last night is because my Mancandy is back in town, and since I'm a naturally high strung person anyway, maybe the fact that my boyfriend is back got me all excited like a kid on Christmas Eve.

Cross your fingers that I get over it by tonight. The only real downside to not sleeping is the WICKED headache I get. Ugh.

The strangest part about all of this: I'm not sleepy. At all. It's like I just didn't need to sleep last night.