To quote myself:

"The sooner I realize that nothing falls into your lap around here, the better. If I was a dancer, I'm sure I'd get hit by a bus and be paralyzed from the waist down. Since I love blogging, maybe my hands will get chopped off? Or something equally depressingly poetic? I wouldn't put it past you, you wily fates! You demon witches playing with the string of my mortal life! Those giant aliens playing marbles with my universe! WITNESS MY SHAME, OMNISCIENT BEINGS! AND PLEASE, SEND MORE MEN."